hurt.

Ever felt like you were being pushed away?
Like as if you USED to mean something to someone, but then, in the end, you actually mean nothing.
Ever felt as if you thought you finally found the one person that understands you the best
You pour out everything to that one person, only to find that….
He/she seemed to understand you,
But deep down, they’re actually laughing at you, thinking how stupid can you be.

Ever felt like when you loved, no one really cared.
But then again, love is all about giving and not receiving.

Sometimes you love too much, till it’s too hard to let go..
Then you find yourself telling your brain, it’s not good to get to attached.

And then, you try to assure yourself, “oh, it’s just a phase, it’ll pass” .
Don’t worry, everything will turn out ok in the end.

Someone tries to force their way into your life,
Even though you already shut them out.

You just wanna scream  at them and tell them:
STOP IT.

But you just don’t have the guts to do it.

All of the above.
Well, maybe it’s for the better. Cause the more you care, the more you hurt.

Therefore, care, but care for your heart first.
Cause when you hurt, no one’s gonna be there for you.
No matter how many times they say they’ll be there.
Words help, yes they do.
But ultimately, actions speak louder than words.

This is how I reassure myself.

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thinking..

Sorry for the  MIA!! in the middle of A2 now, but just felt like blogging some frustrations out ): haha.

Anyways, sighh. Was reading the newspaper that day, and well, there was this post about this 12 yr old girl and her boy problems.. kinda fun to read in a way haahaha! and to see what advice does those counsellors give (: hahaha.

Which makes me think… like… aih. sometimes, we just like to jump into stuff that we are not ready for.. and you know? in the end get hurt and start feeling like shit, and sometimes even to the extreme people just go kill themselves over something small ):

Friends have asked me like super many questions, like, “don’t you feel attracted to any guy” and stuff.. well. That’s for me to know and for you to find out hahah (: but i guess,  just like what Andrew told me when i skype-ed with him, that, ” There will come the time when God will put the right one in your life, so live life to the fullest and wait for that special one ” (: and the best part is that it will be the RIGHT one. So there won’t be no heartbreak, no tears, no sleepless nights thinking about the future (: cause it’s all planned out by Him already (:

I guess it’s something we really gotta to hang on to? No doubt many people will say it’s crap and all, but hey, i stick by my faith cause  i know that all God wants for me is the best, and no doubt for YOU too! (: so no worries, guys, just trust and believe (:

I kinda like.. also been thinking.. about certain people, who change after having a bf/gf… well, no bias here and i am not referring to anyone k. Just a random thought. Would you compromise the many things you used to do for the one that you’re with? Like would you compromise your values, would you go to such an extent to hurt others around you just cause you’re “madly in love”?

Well, if that’s you, maybe i can encourage you to think twice? Think bout those who really care bout you, always been there for you, will it hurt them? the calls that you leave unanswered, the texts u leave unreplied, the plans you ditch.. how would you feel if YOU were them? Not nice right? Hm. food for thought then. (:

Anyways, life has been pretty hectic  heheheh. Which is kinda cool cause i get bursts of adrenaline! (: hahahaha . Had my law paper yesterday.. was pretty hard.. but i did my best. Although i think i screwed up one question ): SIGHH. But i’m just trusting God that He will reward me for my effort.. ):  OMG LA! i’m so frustrated! and angryyy!!!

Sociology tomorrow. And somehow, after reading like so many pages of information my brain is overloaded. And i guess i’m starting to get sick of it. I used to like socio alot… but i really feel that it challenges my beliefs and values so much that sometimes i don’t even know whether i believe in my religion or whether i’m turning into a freethinker.

I guess that chat with kit and lyn was timely.. cause it really brought me back to my senses about how you really experience God at work in your life (: and yeah, that’s when it hit me. This is all just hard facts i’m doing for my exam, just to get a good grade.. but I can betcha, none of those theorists ever experienced God at work in their lives, so that’s why they are talking the way they do haha (:

Last night, i decided to chill for a while and hang out with the girls and ken ming! hahaha (: we went for our favourite banana leaf ! hehehe. and then headed over to 1U to watch the premiere of “Red” (: heheheh. It is a really good movieee! Thanks kit for the tickets! OMG  we were laughing our heads off! apart from lotsa action, there was really lotsa humour too (:

I gotta say i really treasure the time i spent with you guys (: Thanks guys for all the love you have shown me and the love you have given me. (: It really makes me feel belonged and sort of like… i have meaning? Hhahaha. Thank you for all the fun times, and i’m sure there is more after A2! (: hehehe. I appreciate all the random texts i get from you guys, all the “i love yous”, and the hugs and the encouragement. And always making me laughhh! walaaaao too much to say ! heheheh (:

Oh oh! I skyped with Suhaibi that day! hahaha! It was really funny! and Kit was so funny ! her voice so cute on the mike heheheh! I have yet to skype with MR EDMOND MOK. grrrrrr. hahahahahah ): miss you laa brooo! ):

Okay, it’s time to hardcore! (:

hahahaa.

Heyo bloggie! hahahaaa!

It’s been 2 papers and everything seems to be goin great! 🙂 which is good ahhaha! But hopefully this will continue for the next few papers! hahahha. Thank God!

oh oh! finally skype with andreewww! hahaha. which was awesome and funny at the same time hahaha. Too bad i had to go off for dinner and my mike was upstairs 😦 sighh. or else cannn call!! AIIIIIIIIIIIHHH. another time la i guess !
But it’s really good to hear that suhaib and him are doing good! hehehehe. Time to skype Feli soon! HEHEHEHE. and EDMOND MOK. GRRRR SUPER MIA LAA THAT DUDE.

Goin lakeside tmr! to study with kit and lyn! 🙂 wheee. and baannananaan for lunch! I haven’t seen both of them in ages laaa omg. T____T freaking miss themmm 😦

Oh weels. my tummy feels weird after eating pringles with some weird flavour. 😀 hahahaha. LOOOL.

I think JosephVincent on youtube is hot 😛

Sorry for the lack of updates ppl! hahaha 🙂

Exams are around the corner, so bliogging has become a past time! hahahahha 😀
Anyways, i will have a lot to blog about after A2, for stuff that has been past, like my awesome bday, and more 🙂 so stay tuned! 😀

This few weeks have been crazyyy! hahahaha. Apart from all the studying, i have been falling sick and sweating over all my law, socio and econs 😦 sighh. hope it will be over soon!

Also, these few weeks helped me realise who i can count on… and really… i mean it was kinda shocking la. But, then again, i’m so grateful i have you guys :)))

Oh! I have been getting into the mojo of doin covers 😛 hahahaha. which is fun fun fun! 🙂

Random thoughts :
1) I’m so proud of kit!:))))
2)Law paper tmr! DIE!
3) I’m gonna miss PL3 😦
4) I miss wongkityin, limyewlyn, dhivyaaaa and amaaarrrr!! 😦
5) God is sooo awesomeee! 🙂
6) I love church! hahahaah
7)OMG OMG OMG PORK PAN MEE!!!
8) Cant wait for my loonng looong hol 🙂
9) I wanna eat banana leaf 😦
10) I’m scared for tmr and the days after that 😦

Okay, hahahaa, just to keep u entertained 😛 HAHAHAHAHA.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

stoppp itttttt.

It’s torturinggg ommmmgggg!!!!!!!!!!!!! ):
LEAVEEE MEE ALONEEE OKAYYY ):

random.

Felt like writing this out haha.

A2 is coming nearer and nearer aaaiihhh. I have to really focus! omg. So so stressful!): But i guess i have to go through it?

Sometimes, all we need is to just say everything out and let it out. Then everything will be okay. Definitely you’ll feel much better and the tension will be less?): hopefully.
In everything, there will always be hope. Don’t worry! (:

Sometimes, you need to know what you want in life. Only then are you able to work towards it. If you are stuck in between, there is always an opportunity to “switch” sides, thus causing you to be blurred in your goals and what you want to achieve.

Distractions will always be there. It’s just a matter of how you cope with it. How much will power you have to resist it. How much you want something that you are willing to ignore these distractions and aim for what you want. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s something I gotta learn.

Friends will be there. Sometimes they might not. Hey, they too have their own life. Or on the contrary, maybe I should be the one asking myself if  I am the kind of friend that people want. Yes, well, we  can’t always be what people want us to be, we have to be ourselves. But i wonder if I’m the kind of friend that people would like to have.

And for one moment, you feel like everything in your life is right and perfect, that everything is just falling into place. But what if something just pops in cruelly and destroys your perfect little world. What will you do? Will you curse and shake your fist in anger blaming God for everything? Wishing you were never born?

Sometimes the small things matter. A simple text or a call. You never know, it may do wonders. To maybe cheer someone up? To listen to someone who’s goin through a rough time. Or to just share in someone’s happiness.And really genuinely be happy for that someone.

It sucks to be ignored. But then maybe that is a a reminder to us to check and explore what flaws we may have done wrong to someone else. And then change for the better, if it really does apply to us.

Love doesn’t expect anything back. It just loves because it wants to. Nothing more than that.

(:
Just random thoughts going on in my head! hahahaha! This is the consequence of studying too much! hahahahah!xD

Currently addicted to “Terrified” by Katherine McPhee ft. Zachary Levi! (:

musings.

I’m having random musings nowadays.

Always thinking and thinking that sometimes i think wayyy tooo much for my own good! 😀 hahahah.
Anyways, sad sad week ): everyone leavinggg ): to Feli and Suhaib, have a safe flight guys! and also not forgetting Rachel Channgggg ! ):

I woke up with a headache this morning hahahh! Thanks to someone, but it doesn’t matter ! hahahaha!! I had a lot of fun (: heeeee.

Hmmm hmm hmmm. Sociology awaits meeeee. ):

Here’s a random picture!

my stupid nightmare that amritha made me draw! 😀